Thursday, May 6, 2010

How would Bob Dylan and Kurt Cobain do on American Idol?

Watching 17-year old non-wunderkind Aaron get booted from American Idol last night was kind of like eating a single piece of chocolate. For a moment it's a really good thing, but a couple of days from now it will be forgotten forever.

Which leads me to today's topic...Ethan and Claire's (seemingly) constant negative comments when I play them music from rock-era legends that they just can't sing very well (or so they think with their untrained ears!).

Today it happened with John Lennon...it was a cover he did of Ben E. King's classing "Stand by Me," and admittedly it wasn't Lennon at his best. Ethan liked the song, and that he was a Beatle, but Claire would have none of it. "Turn that off!" was followed quickly by "he's no good at all."

I was crushed.

But that got me to thiking of American Idol, with the sweet taste of another never-was having his future crushed, and how John Lennon would do if he sang "Stand by Me" as his audition, and what if all artists of his and subsequent generations had to withstand Simon Cowell's honest and generally accurate assesments, or Randy's "yo dog...that wasn't good" snarkiness.

"John, there were moments that was ok, but if I'm being honest...very pitchy," and with that an icon of the rock era would be gone.

Or Bob Dylan... "Yo dog, I get the whole Rolling Stone thing, but it was just all right for me."

How 'bout Britney Spears...let's face it...the girl just can't sing well. Outside of her studio enhanced albums, she's all over the place vocally. I'm not saying she needs to be in the same conversation (or any conversation) with Lennon and Dylan, but I'm just saying that she would have never made it past the bottom of the top 10 on Idol - and that would have been on looks alone. "If I'm being honest (he does say that a lot), that was very cruise ship."

And what about the entire grunge era. Outside of an Eddie Vedder or Chris Cornell (and I should say my wife thinks there's few rock songs better than their sort-of supergroup Temple of the Dog's "Hunger Strike"), there's an awful lot of "interesting" vocals coming out of Seattle circa 1993. Kurt Cobain (and I won't even get into the fact that neither he nor anyone else from his generation would have ever considered Idol as an option - nor should they have if it existed then), but most also don't have the vocal chops to get through the national vetting process that is American Idol.

I guess that's why I watch the show. It's not about the music, or even the judges...it's about the process. There is nothing more democratic than a national voting competition. The music, the judges' comments, the order they perform each week, the stupid comments they or their fans make about them...all of this is part of the process. And in the end, whether you like Taylor Hicks, or Kris Allen, or Fantasia, or if you find them over-the-top, dull, or caricature-ish (respectively) as I do, the show is an incredible predictor of what will sell.

At least for one album.

So, to Dylan and the late, great Cobain, I salute your talent, your vision, your creativity, and the music you produce, and I am equally happy that you didn't have to live in the era of the Idol generation.

And for you, Kris Allen, I know you're making some people a lot of money right now, and I wish you the best in your future career, whatever that will be.

2 comments:

  1. Nice. I often wonder about the performers on the results show and how they would fare. The Disney troupe earlier this year (Jonas, Lovato, Miley Cyrus -- they all sang horribly). But then there are moments where a true star comes on the stage and captures the whole place even if their performance isn't terrific.

    Go back in time and throw in Jagger, Elvis Costello, 90% of the people who sang blues, Springsteen, et. al.

    They're not brilliant vocalists. They're brilliant performers. That's the part American Idol so often leaves out. If this were truly a vocal competition, young opera singers would win every year. If it were a pop vocal competition, people like Adam Lambert, Chris Daughtry and Jennifer Hudson should have won.

    It's more of a "We're A&R people. Who can we sell to America to ride out at least one hit album?" And Daughtry, Carrie and Kelly aside, those hits don't come as often as you may think.

    Then again, the trending topics on Google yesterday included Frank Sinatra, Harry Connick and several of the Idolettes.

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  2. George, thanks for commenting. Clearly, if everyone had to go through the national vetting process, only the best vocalists, with the best looks, and the best marketing people would become stars.

    And life would be pretty boring.

    I'll take Bob Dylan's "Tangled Up in Blue" over most of the dreck that's out there today, but that doesn't make him any better as a singer.

    And I don't mind that.

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